


Dean Winchester, Cataloging Badass

by somnolentblue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Gen, Libraries, catalogue fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-29
Updated: 2011-10-29
Packaged: 2017-10-25 01:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/270307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somnolentblue/pseuds/somnolentblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Dean contemplates classification systems and controlled vocabularies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dean Winchester, Cataloging Badass

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the [Damn, Your Fandom Is Good At What You Do Fest](http://leupagus.dreamwidth.org/98281.html). Many thanks to [cantarina](http://cantarina.dreamwidth.org) for the quick beta.

So, Dean's still not sure how he got roped into this bullshit. Even the hot chick with the tattoos and the piercings isn't hot any more, not after listening to her go on (and on and on) about semantic whatsits and metawhosits. And if he has to hear any more about ferber or furby or fubar or whateverthefuck he's going to go all vengeful angel on them.

"Sam, why the fuck are we here?"

"Because we're going to be using whatever system they come up with. We're setting an example, Dean."

"That's stupid. We'll just call Bobby."

"He gave them all of his books."

Dean shot his brother a horrified look. Sam shrugged. Dean groaned and hit his head against the wall he was slumping against a few times. Around them, the conversation swirled.

"... could set up our own thesaurus, it's not unprecedented ..."

"... OCLC, not like we're going to be ..."

" ... other people still need to be able to find ..."

"... inexperienced, not just the people who already know ..."

"... digitize? Could we get a grant, call it historical research?"

"... trial period ..."

"... AACR2 or RDA ..."

"... account for possession? 22.26A ..."

"Right, forget this. Ladies!" he shouted. They turned and glared at him. "I hate to interrupt your little shindig, but it's day three of this and I've got things I need to kill."

 **The Dean Winchester Classification System for Hunting Materials**  
(with select illustrative examples)

1\. Animal  
1a. People-shaped  
1a(1). Humans  
1a(1i). Still human - not your problem  
1a(1ii). Fangs and claws (vampires, werewolves)  
1a(1iii). Fucked itself up (wendigo, witches)  
1a(1iv). Dead (ghosts, demons)  
1a(2). Monsters from go  
1a(2i). Always jacked (gods, shapeshifter)  
1a(2ii). Jacked as a teenager  
1a(2iii). Adulthood sucks (rugarou)  
1b. Not human-shaped  
1b(1). No legs  
1b(2). Two legs  
1b(3). Three or more legs

2\. Vegetable  
2a. Cooking  
2a(1). In microwave  
2a(2). On hotplate  
2a(3). In full kitchen  
2b. Magic  
2b(1). Kills bad things  
2b(2). Kills you  
2c. Poison  
2c(1). Not if you're not a moron  
2c(2). Always

3\. Mineral  
3a. Weapon  
3a(1). Natural (salt)  
3a(2). Man-made  
3a(2i). Blunt  
3a(2ii). Sharp  
3a(2iii). BOOM  
3b. Non-weapon  
3b(1). Gets you useful shit (like sex, drugs, rock and roll)  
3b(2). Who gives a shit


End file.
